ENTERtain Your Self

To seek outside of self
for that which is inside,
an aimless searching,
an empty promise.

These times are filled
with strong output.
White noise
that disables our ability
for genuinely
being able to grasp
and fully appreciate
that which is life.

What are you looking for?
You won't get it from them.
Nothing they sell will make you more complete.

ENTER you.

For just one moment
entertain the notion
that the most compelling script
is the one you are writing.

Be fascinated with this.
Intent on your own twists and turns.
Become absorbed in your story.

But be weary of falling too far into the plot.
For this tale unfolds moment by moment.
And you have complete power
to dictate the fate.

Take charge of your tale.
Be active in the production.

Entertain your Self.

Lovers' Goodbye

It was a parting that will forever remain sensitive and splendid in the depths of my heart.
A transition such as this, never simple. So far from easy. Even if I believe it is right.
We shared a morning of mourning. Together allowing emotions to flow, I felt absolute love.
To experience such a process while held in your arms was the most beautiful way to go.
As we held one another and wept, I could feel my very core and the connection that has been strongly sewn between us.
I left tears on your pillow and cum in your sheets. The essence of me to live on for a little while.
Our home, the place that brought us so divinely together, is your own kingdom now.
The queen leaves her king gracefully and graciously.
To walk away, so far from easy. A trembling in my heart and hands as I write these words now.
Ours has been a special journey, blessed from the start. Kindred spirits of the flame.
You have been my teacher, my student, my lover, my friend, my partner, and my joy.
Together we create such an unstoppable force.
It is our karma to fulfill great dreams.
One year exactly brings us now to whatever is next.
I held myself together, needing to be strong in uneasy resolve. And now I allow vulnerability to spring forth.
Time to unwind.
To scream and cry and wonder why.
Though in my heart I know.

You are loved
Umpqua Ipo

Dream Space

Under the blanket of winter we nestle, sleeping the sleep of the newborn, the sleep of the seed. All is contained within us - all future possibilities, all growth, all knowing. This is the time after the Great Dark and before the Bursting Forth. This is the time for dreaming and for knowing our dreams. This is the time of illumination. The light grows. Shadows take form as the darkness recedes. Resting still in the cauldron of birth, we close our two eyes and open our third. Our dream vision is active. We have enough light now to see. Use the light. Dream on ~

Resolve for the Dark Ages

We are living in a tired time. Media keeps us doped up and dumbed down with industrialized chaos, exploiting mans search for self by blurring his path and drugging his mind. Youth is wasted on the young and perhaps wisdom now wasted with age. There is a certain fate we are doomed to if one cannot begin to recognize self not as the individual but rather as the constituent, a part of a whole, whose actions and reactions are part of a global livelihood. 

Our politics are failing us, turning us against each other, basing the structure of society on a criminal system that wastes money, energy, and resources in an attempt to gain power. The United States has lost its sovereignty and what used to be a mighty nation is now looked at as an embarrassing joke by so much of the world. 

Rome crumbled from within, as have so many great entities. We are all human, so silly and naive in the daily destruction we do to ourselves and each other. Here’s a concept, why dont we all stop trying to fix the other and just find peace within ourselves. This is no novel notion. Though it seems to be one still not practiced to the extent that could finally breech the modern mayhem and provide an expanded peace to all earthkind. 

We are destroying our home, engrossed in material dependency, and the fascination of evil. It is a shift in focus that is upon us. To be a witness to the beautiful shift taking place is a special honor I feel so privileged to hold. With so much civil and environmental unrest, there is, thankfully, an element of enlightened evolution. People are, in fact, starting to get it. And even better, starting to do something about the problems. Still though, the output needed to push against such a strong force is exhausting and easily overpowered. The hundredth monkey theory proves that mind sets are contagious. 

So let’s continue to free our minds. Open to the possibilities of a new way to life and even further, focus on what those possibilities are. 2012 has all the hype to actually undergo a massive changed if only based upon the placebo concept of enough people believing something so much that it becomes true. 

Do not let this change happen without putting your power into it happening well. We are all energy. All part of the life that feeds every being on this planet and makes up the planet itself. As a united internation, may we build a strong force for good by being that which we wish to see in the world, and encouraging transcendence to love through that way of existence. Live by example, dont spit your enlightened self all over everyone, simply invite them to love by showing your own. 

The change is upon us. And it has potential to be what we make it to be. Dwell on being well. Imagine the wonder that is to come and feel it with every cell in your body. 

The Light Age is upon us... Believe.... Take Actions..... Trust love........

Thank You

Thank you Nancy Ruby, for being a mother, a friend, a mentor, and a guide. You are me. I am you. This makes me so proud. Thank you Pius Ruby for being my father, setting a high bar for the rest of the men that enter my world. Thank you Ruby Chase O'neil for being. The simple fact that you exist makes me smile. And the way you exist makes me sing. You are my star. My soul mate. My sister. A beautiful songbird and my other half. Thank you Jenny Rose. My heartsong. My best friend. A powerhouse and teacher like I have never had before. Thank you Adrian Nicholas for making my dreams come true. You have changed my life and brought me such joy and fulfillment. Let's dance, you and I. Mahalo to Robin Mazor, G-ma. I love you like crazy and am so honored to play the role of granddaughter. Thank you for all the unconditional love and support. Thank you for believing in me. THANK YOU Hana Munay for coming into my life with the goofy grace and intellectual awesome sauciness that you are. I look forward to Being Human with you. Thank you Shane and Nayeva for providing sacred, potent space for people to pray and connect with each other, this earth, and spirit. Thank you James Mauk for being the truest version of you, and for caring for me. Thank you Grandpa Tashi for being. Thank you Jericho for being absolutely you, strong and radiant. Thank you beautiful Aerial for dance. Thank you Crystal for the epic haircut. Thank you Micah for healing wisdom. Thanks to Tim and Alyssa for being a god example of love and commitment. Thank you Maren Studer for being a friend. Thank you Bridger Jakson for loving me so deeply. Thank you Amity for your glowing embers, your perseverance and your friendship. I look forward to traveling and growing to know you more. Thank you Aunti Gina for being the best aunti ever! I miss you! Thank you Marge Ruby for being my Gammy. Thank you Eli. You are loved. You are love. You are earth. Thank you Richard Diamond. Thank you Lee Joseph for your words and ways. Thank you Julien, DJ Joulz, star child. So glad you stayed on the island. We have a special destiny. Thank you Ivonne for being a refection. Thank you Kaia for your SHINE. Mahalo Dandelion for your meow. Thank you Terri for your friendship. Thank you Faith for your passion. Thank you aunti Lisa for sharing your story. Thank you Sicily for being my sis. Thank you Mama Kauai for the blessings and beauty you share with me. I could not ask for a better home. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all that is, all that has been and all that is to come. So much to be grateful for and wishing to express appreciation to all. Huge Mahalo to those I havent included. You are no less than loved. Gracias Gracies Gracias. Thank you for everything. 

LAST NIGHT

Last night I wanted to tell him how much I love him, to share with him that I want no one else and how much I absolutely enjoy his company. I thought it was time to open my heart and give it to him freely and fully.

Then I felt her. Deep in the core of myself I could so viscerally sense her. I went to her. I held her. And I realized that she is the only one I wish to truly commit to. She is the one who is worthy of all the love I hold. She is beauty. And inspiration. With her I can be my truest self, never experiencing doubt or awkwardness because I am so sure that she accepts every part of me.

I met her at her worst and quickly grew to love her. We are connected, carrying one another in our hearts. No man, however wonderful, could compare to the bond we have formed in the last year.

I still want to show my love to him, and I will do that through my actions. By using my energy and integrity to convey the deep affection I hold. And, no promise need be made right now. Because I am young. And I have me. And I have her.

My friend. My love. My Heartsong.

~